The strangest audition ever...

So I had been out in my garage having ye old garage sale this morning (after all, the whole neighborhood was doing it…okay, well, maybe six families…). Anyway, I came inside for a potty break and my husband hands me the phone. "Hello?" I say. "Hello, Cassandra. My name is Mike Walsh and I’m a casting agent in New York. I got your info off your IndianaActors.com website and your ExploreTalent.com profile. And I gotta say, I’m really impressed with your stuff."

Flabbergasted, I said an excited "Thank you" and he continued on to ask me if this were a good time to talk with him (yeah, who wouldn’t make time if a casting agent from New York called). I said yes, and then he went on to explain about how he was looking for someone with an "expressive sneeze". Yes, I laughed too.

After a little bit of explaining about how they were looking for talent to be in a new allergy medication advertisement in the next 3-6 months, he wanted to know if I would sneeze for him – for real – no pretending. I said I would try, and he told me to go grab some pepper and go to a room where I could concentrate. So I grabbed a palm full of fresh ground pepper and headed up to the bathroom.

He proceeded to tell me to take a pinch of pepper and breath it in and then give him a play-by-play of how it tickled and how close I was to sneezing (presumably so he knew when to record it on his end). So I inhaled the pepper and waited for the inevitable. Well, I didn’t sneeze right away as I had expected. So I took another pinch and breathed it in the other side. Still no sneeze, but boy was my nose burning now.

So here I am, trying to make a good impression on a casting agent from NY and I can’t even sneeze when presented with quite a bit of pepper. Just a bit embarrassing…. Meanwhile, my eyes are watering, I’m trying desperately to breathe and my nose starts running like crazy.

Here’s where it gets a bit gross. So he’s trying to coach me on getting myself to sneeze and he says to grab a Q-tip or bobby pin and stick it up there where it tickles to try and move the process along. So I grab a Q-tip and proceed to tickle the inside on my nose which is running even more now, but still no sneeze. Then he tells me to start telling myself I have to sneeze and to try breathing in short bursts like when you go, "Ah…ahh…ahhhchoo!" So I give it a go, and according to my husband, it sounded like I was having a, well, shall we say, a re-enactment of that restaurant scene in "When Harry Met Sally."

Still trying to get me to sneeze (and being very patient with me the whole time), this casting agent says to try a toothpick and gently touch upon that tickle spot. I was very skeptical about inserting a toothpick up my nose, but I was willing to try anything at this point (says a lot about me, eh?). This got me a lot closer to sneezing, but still not close enough. After another minute of trying (and him being on the phone with me for at least 5 minutes now), he politely gave up waiting, saying that he has run into this with other talent being unable to sneeze. He said that he might try me back in a couple of days, but I’m not holding my breath, so to speak.

In hindsight, I see a couple of flaws in my methodology. One was that I used freshly ground pepper -- not the pre-processed packaged pepper that has all kinds of "allowable" non-pepper mass (like dust and other things I won’t mention) that is very likely to make a person sneeze. Another flaw may have been that I tried too hard and inhaled too much – instead of just enough to tickle my nose hairs. Perhaps next time, I should just go downstairs in our finished basement and start dusting… ;p

So 6 hours after his call, I still have not sneezed. And I was kind of wondering -- does anyone have any remedies for getting pepper out of my sinuses? Holy cats do I have a headache… ;p